Miserable

I am documenting today because I want to forget it and never forget it all at the same time. I feel miserable. It hurts to sit, it hurts to stand, it hurts to walk, it hurts to lay... miserable. I went to the Doctor yesterday, and I am still at 2cm. No progress, just miserable. I was awake every hour last night, completely angry because I didn't want to watch t.v., I didn't want to read, I didn't want to do anything but lay there and be mad. And the same feeling carries on today. I have gained 3 more pounds in the last week, and I feel every single ounce of it with every move I make. Its official.... 9 months of pregnancy is just too long. Still praying, still hoping, and yes- I know it will be worth it when she arrives. Ba-hum-bug for now...

Ring the Alarm

So, yesterday when I got up to get dressed for work my water broke... or so I thought... or maybe yet it did. Yes, there is no doubt I lost some amniotic fluid. So, I got up, went to the bathroom, and calmly sat back on the bed and called my husband (who of course didnt answer- we knew this was going to happen), my sister, and the doctor. I took my time, spent 3 hours at home dressing myself, putting the finishing touches on packing my bag and giving Miss Millie some goodbye loves. By that time, Matt called me back, went back to work, got his truck and made it back home. We left and went to MWH Labor and Delivery. They quickly took me back, got me undressed and on to the bed where they checked my progress and swabbed me for any remaining amniotic fluid... and a big fat NEGATIVE came back. I was mortified because I bet that nurse thought I was nuts. But she nicely explained to me that its a possibility that the baby's head sealed the leak (my water didnt actually break- just a leak) and that if I cleaned up prior to coming to the hospital (which I did) that it was very likely for the swab to come back inconclusive. She had me lay there for a while in the event I leaked some more, and she would recheck me. After an hour, and still no progress, she sent me home. I was upset, disappointed, and just very down. Matt and I headed home and took a nap for a while, then headed back to town for a 4:00 appointment with my OB/GYN. She checked me with a speculum, and admitted there was some moisture and I am now almost 2cm, and oddly enough I had low blood pressure (usually it would be high around this time). She agreed with the L&D Nurse that the baby's head likely sealed off any leak, and I didn't lose enough amniotic to warrant being induced, so she sent me home for business as usual. 

You can bet I had one confused little pupster when we got home. She knows that we aren't coming home when we walk out the door with our luggage in tow. We came and went 3 times yesterday, and she had a fit each time. Definately a big break in her routine. But here I am, back to business as usual, no baby yet, still wondering when the big birthday is coming. Seemingly yesterday's big deal had to be some progress... just not enough to make Mommy happy.  

P.S.- I FOUND OUR CAMERA! WOOHOO!!

Not much new except boohoohoo...

There isn't any big news to post this week. I feel like a waddling hippopotamus these days. Sutherlynn has made her way south, making it very difficult to walk like a normal person. I am hoping the big day will come soon, I am very anxious to meet her now. Well.... that, and I am tired of moving in slow motion and having to pee every 5 minutes. I even took a break from the stilettos today. I woke up this morning with a fresh new IDGAS attitude, and decided to sport a velour lounge suit and tennis shoes. This is completely new territory for me, even my co-workers are looking at me like I have a third eyeball. But the break is kind of nice, and I am very comfortable today. And let's not forget that at SDI, Thursday means Friday, so bring on the casual! 


This week has been pretty busy at work, which has been very rare and unusual over the past year or so. I won't complain though, its helping to take my mind off of other things that have pretty much CONSUMED me lately. I almost forgot what it felt like to sit at my desk and hammer away at site planning for 9 hours a day. I had to stop a few times to try to remember some command prompts that I haven't used in over a year! Monday morning, I walked in to a putrid smell of mildew. Apparently the hot water heater busted over the long Thanksgiving weekend, and the entire office was flooded. Needless to say, the smell made me ill, and I ended up leaving at 1:00 with a terrible headache and sinuses that were on fire... AFTER, of course I stayed to finish my goals for the day. (*Insert pat on my back here*). It still smells in here, and yes I have a headache, but I am going to have to grin and bear it. Especially since I have learned that SDI is not going to pay me for being ill over hazardous conditions on their behalf. And to think I stayed and worked through my lunchbreak on Monday as a courtesy to them. Hhmph. Oh, wait, did that sound bitter? I just hate being taken advantage of. That's all.


The stockings are hung and the tree is up, and not a single present to go under it. This is going to be a sparse Christmas this year, but I have so much to look forward to I cannot let it get me down. But I won't lie, I have cried and cried and cried over Christmas this year, and its only the 3rd of December. I want so badly to shower my husband, my neice and nephews with all things Santa, and I just can't. Its a real feeling of failure. Matt and I are continuing to take it day by day. With a little prayer, and alot of love, we'll get through this December just fine. And I am going to take this time now to thank God for my sisters. Aside from Matt, they are my rock walls, and I know that at any hour of the day all I have to do is pick up the phone. I love you girls. :o)


Here are some pics of Skylar and Hunter all gussied up. Agh, how I LOVE these kids!

So that's it. Hopefully there will be some exciting news very soon. I'll keep you posted!

What Little Girls Are Made Of

So if you ask Daddy what Sutherlynn Grace will be made of, he'll say gunpowder and lead. If you ask Mommy, she'll say pink, pearls, and pierced ears... and bloomers... and bows... and bracelets. Haha! Secretly though, I hope she will be a solid mix of everything. An independent girl who will be herself, and love everyone for their own unique qualities. If there was one thing Matt and I could go back in time and do, we would befriend everyone and pretend that "cliques" didn't exist.


I want her to read and love books, because it sparks the imagination, and provides a free language education. I want her to ride with the boys because it will teach her that its okay to get dirty and skin your knee every once in a while. Everything else will be up to her.


I pray to God that Matt and I will be good providers for her, and that we can give her everything we never had, and everything that she will ever need. That goes with being said that I don't want to give her more than she needs, because you can easily lose sight of who you really are, and where you really came from. I am a firm believer in tough love, or a gentle kiss, but not an extreme of one or the other. I want her to know, and love God. I want her to know inspiration and all the great leaders of our past. I want her to aim for the highest, and shoot for the stars with everything she does. With a little bit of ambition, she can do anything she'll ever desire.


I want her to have Daddy's eyes and teeth and Mommy's hair and nose. But if she comes into this world the complete opposite, we will love her just the same, even if her hair really is bright red like Matt's little brother. I can't wait to see how her personality will develop, and who she grows to be. I can't wait to meet her, and I hope she comes out slinging guns and wearing ribbons and pearls.

          

A VERY rainy update!

It's official. Matt is not allowed to take the camera out of the house anymore... Well, once we FIND it, that will be the new rule. haha! He took it with him last Friday and Saturday to go deer hunting, annnnd he didn't come home with it. I have needed it at least 3 times since then, and have had to rely on my BlackBerry for a camera. Let's just say that with a whole 3.1 megapixels, I really would like to find our digital camera, and soon.

Not much is going on in Princess Pearce world. Except alot of anxiety and nervousness. Time is winding down, and it is all becoming very real, very quickly. I wouldn't trade it for the world, but to just think that in 4-5 weeks, we will be parents is very scary! To me anyway. I don't think it has hit Matt yet. And if it has, he is handling it VERY well. Every night he rubs my belly and talks to Sutherlynn. But let's not forget the occasional poke and "honk honk" that goes along with it from a man who is fascinated with a big baby belly. I sure do love him though. He is my rock, my partner, and my very best friend.

We've had two days of pretty intense rain because of tropical system "Ida" along with a low pressure front off the coast, which has stalled both systems right over top of us. We live in a lake community, and the water level was already pretty high from a previous rain event. We have to cross the dam and emergency spillway to get to our house, which can be very intimidating when you are crossing it because the water level is actually at eye level- meaning the rest of your warm, healthy body is below it. So this morning, as I travel to work, I noticed alot of car traffic traveling the opposite direction. It wasn't until I reached the dam, did I realize what I was dealing with. I drive a 4Runner, so I knew I wouldn't have a problem crossing, so down I went! (Isn't this where Murphie's Law usually takes effect?)

Sorry for the picture quality- again... gotta love 3.1mp!

This is an area which, during dry times, has a small leak. Today, it's looking like it could fail any time. Being in the engineering business- seeing something like this really got my adrenaline going!

This is where the riser in the lake daylights across from the spillway. It was like a river torrent. Very neat to see, especially when you are in your vehicle, as the water is rushing beneath you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The riser structure (for overflow like this) in the lake was taking all the water it could, hence the outcome of the next picture... when water doesn't have anywhere else to go, it's going to find its own way. So it did- right over the dam wall (no pun intended)! To my right (not shown), where the water was ponding, it was an easy 6" of raging water trying to make its way to the outlet area.

So, that was my excitement for the morning! Hopefully next time, we will have more pictures to share... at least with better quality!

It's Baby Time

Yet another picture post. We dolled up Sutherlynn Grace's nursery and celebrated our First Anniversary in the same weekend... which is also the weekend I was released from the hospital, AND my sister's and best friend threw our Baby Shower! So, don't laugh at my painting pictures, I was in no mood to get pretty to paint! ;o)

This is me laying in the hospital bed. Sutherlynn was all strapped up to her monitors, and I certainly had plenty of time to kill... so I took a picture.

And yes, I painted in a sports bra, I was HOT! And I just noticed- I really must be addicted to my Blackberry, it never strays too far from me!

One VERY curious pupster. Probably wondering why we are going in and out of this rarely used room all of a sudden...

Daddy unwrapping and putting together some of SGP's furniture. What a mess that styrofoam packing makes!

Her crib. I PROMISE I will post more pics of her room, but I want to find the perfect shelving and have some other details done first.

The top tier of our cake... and it really didn't taste the same after one year. Looks a little abused, but it was still fun to attempt to eat.

Clearly we don't feed each other often.

Me and my Memaw at the Baby Shower. There are more pics on my Facebook if you'd like to check them out.

Admiring SGP's gifts. :o)

This cake was sooooo good!

Fall 2009... The season we love and hate at the same time.

This is going to be more of a picture post. I have lots of photos from Fall festivities, and photos of my nephew were emailed to me this morning. For the full deal, you can check them out on my Facebook. These few moments below are why I LOVE the Fall season despite the early darkness that Daylight Savings brings. I usually handle the seasonal blues by looking at pictures like these to cheer me up. I mean, wait till you see Landon- I think that face could cheer the worst of foul moods up!

I'm guessing it didn't taste as good as he thought it would...

This face.... I love it.

This giggle makes my day...

So Daddy wanted to paint my belly for Halloween this year. I was apprehensive about it, but he was really excited... so I caved.

I couldnt see what he was doing. My point of view when I look down was all orange.

This is when we realized Daddy is not a very good belly painter. But we had fun in the end, and it was very well worth it.   

Annnnd one to end this post with... The very best Dinosaur ever!